Suicide notes from suspect in slain NJ woman case revealed

The ex-boyfriend and suspect in the death of Stephanie Parze, a 25-year-old woman who's remains were found in a wooded area in northern New Jersey, left two suicide notes that have been released by the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office.

John Ozbilgen, 29, hanged himself in November after investigators focused their attention on him in connection with Parze's disappearance. Some details about the notes were released soon after his death. 

In a redacted note shared with the media, Ozbilegen apologizes to his family for the 'craziness' and that he's been 'miserable.'

Provided by the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office.

'Dear Mom, Dad, Sal, Sammy: - Sorry about all this craziness, I've been miserable for so long now, I had enough. Thanks for everything, I can't do life in prison. Most of the stuff you will hear is true, exept the child porn, I would never do that. Use the pics with me and (redacted) for the funeral, that was the only time in my life where I was truly happy. I want (redacted) to help plan everything with  you, tell her I'm sorry and I love her. She was so good too me, we had a amazing life. I (expletive) it up. She only did good for me. I dug myself in a deep hole. This is the only choice. I love you guys."

Parze disappeared on Oct. 30, 2019 after a night out with family at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick. Her family told investigators they had said goodbye to her as she headed to her home. She was never seen alive again.

Ozbilgen was found dead in his home a few days later, and his death was ruled a suicide.

In a note to another ex-girlfriend, Ozbilgen says Parze hurt him "over and over."

Provided by the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office.

'Dear (redacted) & Bentley: I love you so much little lady. I miss you so much. I don't know what I was thinking when I (expletive) our relationship up. You were the best thing that happenned too me. I tried to move on many times, I will never feel for another lady the way I feel for you. Recently I tried to reach out to you, you got a restraining order? Why? At that moment I felt like my entire world ended. I really needed you in a huge way. Look @ the mess I created, LOL. Don't believe everything in the news. I hope your doing well @ I hope you have amazing life, you deserve it. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you and Ben. The girl in the news with me was such a piece of (expletive), she hurt me over and over, when i was already @ my lowest, she was a horrible person. Please help my parents with my funeral, your the only person I have ever loved. Sorry for everything, I wish I could go back in time @correct my mistakes, but I can't."

Parze was last seen leaving her parents' home in Freehold after a night out with relatives in New Brunswick. Parze drove back to her late grandmother’s nearby home in Freehold, but then failed to show up for a nanny job the next day. Relatives who went there found her car and phone, but there was no sign of forced entry.

Parze's family and friends had conducted extensive searches throughout the region when she went missing.

Her body was recovered off Route 9 and just south of Old Mill Road in Old Bridge.