This dating trend could leave you alone and confused. What is 'banksying'?

NEW YORK - There’s a new dating trend that could leave you confused, abandoned, and refreshing your texts in emotional limbo.

First it was ghosting. Then breadcrumbing. Now singles are dealing with something slipperier, a slow, sneaky fade-out called "banksying." 

And while the name sounds artistic, the reality feels more like emotional vandalism. 

The trend borrows its name from the mysterious British street artist known for his surprise pop-up murals that seem to appear and disappear without warning. 

The dating version follows a similar pattern.

What is ‘bankysing’?

"Banksying is backpedaling while you breadcrumb into a slow fade," said relationship expert Susan Winter. "You are exiting the relationship slowly but not to held guilty or responsible. It doesn’t allow for closure and it doesn’t allow for communication."

How do I know if I'm being ‘banksied’?

Unlike ghosting, where someone abruptly cuts contact, "banksying" is a quiet pullback. 

Responses get shorter. 

Plans get pushed. 

The energy shifts. 

But when questioned, the person dodges any clear answers.

"It is the perfect tool for somebody that hates to communicate and hates to be responsible for their part of the relationship," Winter said.

While some might see it as a soft exit, Winter says it is often more damaging than ghosting because it creates confusion, delays closure, and erodes self-worth over time.

"If this trend is getting popular, like it should just stop immediately, because it doesn’t make sense," one New Yorker said.

Technology only adds to the problem. With texts and dating apps, it is easier than ever to stretch out a breakup while avoiding a real conversation.

"A text means I can craft my answer. I can pretend I didn’t understand you. I can take time to think things through," Winter said. "But in real life we have real emotions that come to the surface, and we are more spontaneous."

What to do if your ‘banksied?’

So what should you do if you think you are being Banksied? Winter says clarity is your best weapon.

"Just ask for clarification. Say, I really haven’t talked to you. I don’t know what’s going on. You can be honest with me," she said. "Nobody’s bad or wrong, just communicate."

And if the other person still fades out, Winter says to take it as a sign.

"This is how they communicate. If you want to get to conflict resolution, it is never going to happen with this person."

Or as one man put it bluntly, "I think you should treat people the way that you would want to be treated."

If the person you’re dating begins to disappear one unanswered text at a time, don’t assume you’ve lost your chance at love.

Chances are, you’ve just sidestepped a slow fade into emotional nowhere.

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