New dating trend 'gray rocking' could mean the relationship is going downhill
You've probably heard of "ghosting" or "breadcrumbing," in dating--now there's "gray rocking", which could mean your relationship is going south.
"It’s got some good heft. It can just sit there by itself. It doesn’t move but it’s very plain, very plain vanilla," Dan Rebek described.
He’s a psychologist we ran into perfectly depicting the characteristics some adopt when detaching from that toxic partner or someone they just can’t deal with anymore.
"A person can do whatever they want to do but it’s a choice to do what you need to do in the moment," he told FOX 5.
Clinical Psychologist Dr. Bart Rossi agrees telling us it’s a method he’s been coaching some of his clients to use when they're overwhelmed by their partner.
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That dull disinterest is designed to fuel disassociation meant to turn the person off for good.
"Rather than create a lot of drama and get emotional, you act indifferently and kind of with a flat effect, so you kind of distance yourself from the person," Dr. Rossi shared.
Some we spoke with didn’t like the method at all. They’d rather just toss the gray rock because they feel that conversations are a form of maturity.
"People can sense that you already don’t want to be with them, so you could just tell them straight up," said Zamo.
"It is always better to speak up at the end of the day, I believe. I always think it’s better to say what’s true for you," Kavita Jhaveri explained.
She’s a long-time relationship coach cautioning unwarranted use of the method.
"It’s also promoting this lack of empowerment in the process in really voicing what is true for you and actually expressing like your own boundaries. Your own experience of what’s happening in that relationship," said Jhaveri.
One couple is on the opposite end, more in the gray zone with gray rocking though.
"Sometimes you know you don’t have the energy to deal with the situation," said one.
"I think it’s very immature. I think you should always be yourself. If you want to disengage with someone, you should make that clear and step away from them," the other added.